6-1. Typical Problems And Possible Strategies

Let's discuss some common disrespectful behaviors and give possible strategies that will address the behavior in a respectful manner.

Before addressing a specific disrespectful behavior, many factors need to be considered. These seem to be constants, no matter what kind of disrespectful behavior is displayed. They must be addressed before any action is taken with the student:

A student-centered environment requires a person to ask these types of questions/concepts BEFORE working with the student:

1. Am I calm? {A friend says, "When there's a problem, I should be able to tell who the student is and who the teacher is"}

2. Do I know the student? Is he after attention? Power? The way to react could be very different depending upon the reason he is acting out {Four Goals of Misbehavior}.

3. Get off the student's playing field as fast as possible. If not, a lose/lose situation will be created. Know my playing field.

4. Do I believe in teaching respect enough? Is it worth dying for? The answer must be yes!

5. What strategies have failed with this student? Why? What has worked in the past? Why?

6. Am I treating this student with the utmost respect?

7. Does this student know how to complain effectively?

8. Did I do something wrong to contribute to this disrespectful action?

9. Does the "system" support me? Why? Why not?

10. How does knowing my strengths, and weaknesses, help shape how I must react? Can I change? Can I turn my weaknesses into strengths?

11. Are my responses appropriate for Native/non-Native students? How will knowing about their culture help me succeed with this student?

12. Does this student know I care for him/her? Have I shown it? How?

13. How big, and powerful, is the student's emotional envelop?

STUDENT-CENTERED
STRATEGIES TO CONSIDER

1 A student refuses to do what is asked:

• "You can't make me do it"
• "I don't want to do it"
• "Leave me alone! I won't do it!"
• "I don't have to do it!"
• "Try and make me do it!"

• Power struggle and/or control are usually the prime goals of these students.
• Most students who challenging authority experience a lack of control in their lives. Strategies need to be developed where the student can have more control in their lives.
• When respect is created between a student and a teacher, these types of refusal become easy to deal with because the student knows they are being disrespectful and so will find other ways of expressing dissatisfaction.

2 A student walks away while the teacher is talking:

• "Please come back here, I'm talking to you!"
• "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!"
• Probably a large, angry, emotional envelop.
• "You're too angry to discuss this so we'll talk about it later. Please go and sit down and relax (they're probably going to do it anyway) I'll talk to you later."
• Circle back later, when not so emotional, and do closure.

3 A student swears in class:

• Because he hit his finger with a hammer
• At a friend
• At another student
• At the teacher
• At everyone!
• All of these incidences of swearing stem from different reasons, therefore, the actions taken may be different.
• Hitting a thumb requires a polite comment, humor, and/or sympathy.
• Swearing at a friend requires discussion around familiarity and how to treat friends respectfully.
• At another student: disrespectful and so needs to be discussed.
• At a teacher: teacher's role? Can't accept but must be respectful in approach.

4 A student is FAS/FAE and is disruptive in class:

• Is an easy "target" for other students to pick on.
• Will talk, argue, and put down other students almost constantly.
• The way students see themselves is important. Often these students see themselves as always being picked upon by others.
• They are an easy target.
• They are often easily lead astray.
• They like to be liked, and this makes them vulnerable. It is also the easiest way to get them to behave, by showing them how much you care for them.
• They get into routines and when the routines are disrupted, they get edgy.
• Any consequences must follow immediately after the infraction.
• Repetition is critical.
• I have found these types of students end up in alternate classes and are often behavioral problems BUT I have also found them to be the easiest to work with because of their desire to please and they appreciate being treated respectfully.

5 A certain student is constantly stealing, even when he/she has all they need:

• Money disappears.
• Lunches disappear.
• Things from desks disappear.
• No one can "prove" it is this student.
• These types of students never have all they need. Something drives them to steal.
• Professional help in needed.
• An action plan needs to be put into place that asks, "How can we help this student?". Never, "How can we make this student pay for this unacceptable behavior."
• On a field-trip, a student who was a compulsive thief was caught. We ended up having other students agree to let him travel with them, and they would monitor his behavior. He didn't steal anymore (or he wasn't caught again.)

6 A student is constantly bullying other students:

• In the class, playground, etc.
• If there's a fight/problem, this student is often involved.
• Younger/smaller students are his victims.
• This type of student is often trying to get some control in their lives.
• They are often from violent homes where the dad beats the mother.
• They often have not been taught any other strategies to use when dealing with anger.
• When the student is not in a fight, discuss with him alternative strategies, and hold him accountable.
• Usually slow going, unless you can "reach" him through caring.

7 This student has to "get in the last word" every time:

• Has to prove his point.
• Even if threatened, will have to make a final comment.
• These students have the teacher playing on their playing field. They suck the teacher into a verbal battle.
• The only effective way I have found is to refuse to play the game. "You always like to have the last word, please make it good!" is a positive way of acknowledging his need.
• If that is unacceptable to you, then give a warning, and a consequence if he continues. Don't dialogue with him.

8 Will not do any homework:

• Has all kinds of excuses.
• Simply refuses to do anything at home.
• Challenges the teacher to try and make me do it!

• Three examples given may have different goals. What are the reasons for not doing homework? Are they valid? If not, what strategies may be effective with this student? After school homework sessions proved effective. We use to visit, work, build relationships, etc. during these sessions. If a student didn't want to be around, they soon did homework at home.