Practicing Conflict Resolution Strategies

As with teaching anything, students and teachers must be taught:

• how it works,
• given time for practice in various role-playing situations,
• reinforcement of what was taught, and
• the importance of consistency

STEP #1:
Person #1: TELL YOUR SIDE of the story

• Facts
• Describe WHAT happened...NOT WHY it happened
• Use "I" statements
• Be respectful

Person #2: LISTEN ACTIVELY

• Can ask questions to clarify a point
• When the person is finished, repeat what you heard
• Please DO NOT change, or add anything

STEP #2: REPEAT STEP #1 with roles reversed

STEP #3: Mediator CLARIFIES the CONFLICT

• checks with the students

STEP #4: Everyone expresses FEELINGS (take turns)

• What did/do you feel?
• How would you rather feel?
• What are your needs? Hopes?
• Verbal vs. diagrams for different learning styles

STEP #5: How can we SOLVE this problem?

STEP #6: Select a WIN/WIN solution

STEP #7: Agree on FOLLOW-UP

• consequences
• checking back to be sure the solution works

STEP #8: Principal does CLOSURE

Conflict Resolution
STEPS 1&2	What is the instigating situation	Don't find fault, guilt, humiliate, or moralize Starting a timeline of events
	|
STEPS 1&2	Get the student's perception of the problem	As the mediator - what your perception is, at this time, doesn't matter Get sequence of events = getting details for the timeline
	|
STEP 3	Clarify distortions about what really happened	Go back to the timeline for clarification Teaching cause & effect
	|
STEP 4	Talk about how everyone felt	An important step as it validates everyone's feelings
	|
STEPS 5&6	Plan for progress. What should be done now	Adding to the timeline = what are we going to do?
	|
STEP 7	|__ IF UNREALISTIC	--- Clarify Reality Motivation Options Consequences	Next phase of the timeline
	|__ IF REALISTIC	--- Implement Follow through Evaluate	The timeline is continued
	|
STEP 8	CLOSURE

• Crisis is seen as a teaching opportunity

• Gets people talking about their perception of the issue

• Clarifies reality

• Attitude towards children is empathic/understanding

• Recognizes & validates childrens' thoughts

• Works at replacing "blaming" with personal responsibility

• Gives the student positive skills in coping, problem-solving, analyzing behaviors

• Teaches cause and effect

• Consequences are reality-based

• Student learns other people are willing to help solve a problem

• Independence, belonging, mastery, and generosity are important components of a person's life, even in crisis

• Focus is working from, and developing strengths in students

Any policy that is implemented needs to be monitored. Monitoring will take many forms:

1. Monitoring student behavior

A sample monitoring form is on the next page. It assumes that many of the strategies will have been used to both address the problem and to find a positive solution. These notes are kept by the teacher. If the principal, or parents are involved, they also get copies. This way everyone involved is aware of what is going on. This type of system is useful because over time a specific student's file can be pulled and patterns can be looked for. If patterns are found, then pro-active strategies can be developed to help that student learn what "triggers" him.

Some information does not have to go home, others must. Often this is student and/or situational dependent.

In order to see if what is being implemented works, there needs to be a monitoring component. This is often built into the Action Plans.

Staff meetings are great places to have a "social" component where problems with the system are discussed and alterations suggested.

NAME: Date: This student was:	NAME: Date: This student was:
Signed:	Signed:
MEETING: Students(s) Teacher Principal Parent(s) Other(s):	MEETING: Students(s) Teacher Principal Parent(s) Other(s):
ACTION PLAN What each person involved is: GOING TO DO: INDICATORS OF SUCCESS BY WHEN: OTHER? CLOSURE:	ACTION PLAN What each person involved is: GOING TO DO: INDICATORS OF SUCCESS BY WHEN: OTHER? CLOSURE:

Student:		Date:
Student's Signature:
Parent's Signature:

COMMENTS:

STUDENT - TO - STUDENT:

1. School Bus Incident

In the morning, the bus driver brings in two students (to classroom teacher). Says they were fighting on the bus. Didn't see what started it. Concerned about the violent verbal and physical behavior of Sally/Sam.

{cocky...mouthy towards Sally/Sam...when S says something, D would respond in a "smart-ass" way}

{extremely distraught...refuses to let D person talk...obviously mad at what happened...}

D claims:
1. It's not a real knife, but a toy one {can't produce it as evidence}
2. Doesn't care if S tells the "whole world"

Additional information:

Sally/Sam is usually a student who avoids confrontations. Sally/Sam observed mother being stabbed with a knife and she had to be rushed to the hospital....

Three students, from the same class, get sent to their teacher because they were in a fist fight on the play ground....

3. Any other student - to - student scenario????

STUDENT - TO - ADULT:

1. Student wanting to go home before school is out

A student (Shirley age 16) says she has a headache and wants to skip the last two classes of the day. As you {a teacher or support worker} come into the room, a teacher, or support worker, is already arguing with Shirley. Shirley says she wants to go home, the teacher/support worker is saying she can't. There are at the stage of the arugment where the teacher/support worker is going to send Shirley to the office. You are 99% certain Shirley does not have a headache and is 'just trying to skip school.'

1. What is your responsibility/role in this situation?

2. How can the teacher/support worker who is arguing with Shirley "get out of the situation" they are in?

3. How can a Conflict Resolution strategy help?

4. Solve this conflict in a positive way.....

2. A student tells you to "F... Off!"

A 14 year old student, Tommy, is rough-housing in the hallway. He's pushing another student around. You ask them to stop, the other boy does but Tommy starts to get mouthy. You politely, and firmly, go over the school's expectations re: hallway behavior and point out Tommy's behavior was unacceptable. Tommy begins to argue with you and tells you to "F...Off."

3. Other scenarios?????

ADULT - TO - ADULT:

1. Arugment between two adults

A case conference is being held to discuss what should be done with Barry, a 15 year old student. He is constantly in trouble, skipping classes, not doing homework, being disruptive in class, and so on. Present at the case conference are: principal, Barry's teachers, counsellor, and a support staff member who interacts on a regular basis with Barry. Two of the adults are arguing about what to do with Barry. One person wants him suspended, the other says suspensions don't work. Their argument is getting heated.

• in-school suspensions;
• a 5-day suspension;
• parents have been in several times, always supportative;
• Barry has been 'talked to' many times by teachers, support staff, principal;
• the principal, and teachers have tried to councel Barry, to no avail;
• Barry says he wants to graduate;
• Barry has refused counselling;

4. The teacher who wants Barry suspended has had enough. He/she feels the school has done everything for Barry and it's time to focus on the needs of other students. The other person in the argument disagrees.

5. This is a common argument 'type', between adults, one of philosophical differences.

2. Any other example????